5 tips for successful family emailing
March, 1999.
By Molly E. Holzschlag. (Link to original article.)
Email is a great way to stay in touch with family, but beware! We all have quirks that can sometimes be stumbling blocks to successful communication online. Follow these five tips to find family email harmony.
One day in my Web design class, we began to share stories of how our family relationships had changed because of email and the Web. It's true that the Internet has expanded the ability of families to communicate with one another. One student discussed how his superficial and typically macho relationship with his father has deepened because of email. They can write about their feelings and emotions freely—something they'd never done before.
My entire family is online, and they each bring their own quirks to the Web. Let's examine these idiosyncrasies to learn the do's and don'ts of family emailing.
My Mom
My mother holds the official title of "First Jewish Mother in Cyberspace."
This was (really) in her first email message to me:
Darling daughter,
You see, it's not all peaches and cream invoking the mother goddess into your cyberspace. She turns out to be the same old Jewish mother you thought you had outgrown years ago.
Love, Mom
And I thought moving across the continent would reduce nagging?
My mother, a multi-cultural, feminist scholar, has found her natural habitat in email. She writes brilliant letters that are deep, moving, and always contain a piece of Yiddish wisdom.
I adore these long letters, but somehow my mother (whose Ph.D. is in English) has yet to master the online version of a paragraph. Her emails are always one solid block of text from start to finish. OY!
Tip #1: be concise
Email should be written in short, concise paragraphs for maximum effect, especially if the letter is a long one. Reading on a screen can be tiring, so breaking information up into smaller bits really helps the visual and perceptual flow.
My stepfather
My stepfather is easy-going, kind, and very intelligent. I enjoy chatting with him about science. He's a geologist, and he studies mud. Mud, believe it or not, is a very deep subject.
I know my stepfather has email. I've written email to him. But I've never received an email from him. Is he ignoring me? Unlikely. I just think he never checks his email.
Tip #2: check email regularly
If you have email, check it regularly! If you can't check daily, try for three times a week. If you don't, you might miss important news or information from family members. To those online regularly, not replying to email is like ignoring phone messages.
My brother morris
Morris is political. In the punk years, he kept his hair short. Now he wears it in a mohawk. He's community-minded, a vegetarian, an architectural historian and restorer of homes. Morris keeps long lists of email addresses and likes to mass-mail petitions.
Unsolicited email is akin to walking into someone else's house just because the door is open. You should always knock, or at least call out and see if everyone inside is dressed.
Tip #3: practice conscientious mass mailing
Mass emailing can be seen as an intrusion. Be sure the folks on your personal lists welcome your jokes and petitions as well as your personal notes. Some people get hundreds of emails a day and find the unnecessary ones tiring. Simply write and ask them if it's okay to forward items of this nature along. They'll appreciate your consideration!
My brother linus
Linus is an attorney, a writer, and the funniest person I know. Linus will charm your socks off and make you laugh until you're gasping for breath.
But Linus is an email minimalist. His emails contain five words or less. I'm all for getting to the point, but despite his offline ebullience, his online personality can seem harsh.
This makes me uncomfortable. If you're happy, and you know it, do something to let me know.
Tip #4: show a little emotion
To ensure that you express yourself warmly, add a few lines of humor, or use emoticons (sparingly, but use them) to indicate your emotional state. This helps by putting the recipient at ease, even if you have to keep the message short.
Me
I suffer from email overload. I get so much of it that I really should have a secretary to organize and prioritize it. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by what's in my inbox that I just ignore it for a few days.
This is a mistake. Particularly if you, like me, have a Jewish mother. She'll get very upset, which only results in more email.
Tip #5: stay in touch
Answer your email. Your mother will be happy you did.
